I was raised in a home, which regularly practiced the use of the word, "no." That’s not to say that I was never given anything and that I had no fun in my life as a child- quite the opposite actually. My parents were unified and set limitations and expectations for us kids and when we failed to meet them we were often met with a “no” in regards to what our wants were.
My parents were the “executive committee” who met together and made the rules. I remember as a youth knocking on my parent’s door and being met with silence- they never even acknowledged my knocks. This would frustrate me and so I would walk in. Upon walking in my parents were found kneeling in prayer about decisions that we as a family were in the process of making. They were unified with the Lord in the leadership in our family home and this was the foundation for our family and I think it should be for all families.
As decisions were made by the parental units, we would then hold a family counsel meeting, usually prior to the occasional family home evening. We would meet as a family and our parents would petition us children about their expectations for us. There were rules regarding times to be home during the week, during the weekend, when sleep-overs were allowed, a timeline for when chores were considered late, etc. As each rule was given to us it was our responsibility to figure out what our consequences would be if we were to break the rule. Often times we, as children, would committee around making a lenient consequence for a rule that the older children would break often in hopes it would stick. But our parents, knowing the frequent rule breakers would not allow it. Many times over the years when it came time to choose to break a rule or follow it I was faced with the trust that my parents showed to us as we made the rules and that helped influence my decision making.
On the occasion that we would break a rule and wanted to participate in something fun or have one of our wants met we were met by Vitamin M. (Rosemond). “This vital nutrient consists simply of the most character-building two-letter word in the English language-“No”” This helped create a method of self-control in us children. We were able to be a part of the rule making process, determine our consequences and be held to them by loving parents who had our upbringing at heart. Sometimes this isn’t the case parents, “give them (children) far too much of what they want and far too little of what they truly need.”
As parents meet together and make decisions together with the Lord, allow children to participate in family counsels and trust them enough to make decisions regarding consequences the family is unified. Once a family is unified in expectations and someone breaks those expectations and is met with a “no” the unit learns self-control for the next experience.
My parents were the “executive committee” who met together and made the rules. I remember as a youth knocking on my parent’s door and being met with silence- they never even acknowledged my knocks. This would frustrate me and so I would walk in. Upon walking in my parents were found kneeling in prayer about decisions that we as a family were in the process of making. They were unified with the Lord in the leadership in our family home and this was the foundation for our family and I think it should be for all families.
As decisions were made by the parental units, we would then hold a family counsel meeting, usually prior to the occasional family home evening. We would meet as a family and our parents would petition us children about their expectations for us. There were rules regarding times to be home during the week, during the weekend, when sleep-overs were allowed, a timeline for when chores were considered late, etc. As each rule was given to us it was our responsibility to figure out what our consequences would be if we were to break the rule. Often times we, as children, would committee around making a lenient consequence for a rule that the older children would break often in hopes it would stick. But our parents, knowing the frequent rule breakers would not allow it. Many times over the years when it came time to choose to break a rule or follow it I was faced with the trust that my parents showed to us as we made the rules and that helped influence my decision making.
On the occasion that we would break a rule and wanted to participate in something fun or have one of our wants met we were met by Vitamin M. (Rosemond). “This vital nutrient consists simply of the most character-building two-letter word in the English language-“No”” This helped create a method of self-control in us children. We were able to be a part of the rule making process, determine our consequences and be held to them by loving parents who had our upbringing at heart. Sometimes this isn’t the case parents, “give them (children) far too much of what they want and far too little of what they truly need.”
As parents meet together and make decisions together with the Lord, allow children to participate in family counsels and trust them enough to make decisions regarding consequences the family is unified. Once a family is unified in expectations and someone breaks those expectations and is met with a “no” the unit learns self-control for the next experience.
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